It is this
the discomfort
when I walk in the room
The suspicion the uneasiness
Sometimes the fear
The hesitation
The subtle pause in conversation
The stumbling over
What to say
What to ask
Who are you
How did you get here
Who let you in?
It is this
This line I must walk
This dare I must always make
I dare you to stop me
I dare you to ask me
I dare you to let me
I dare you to look at me
It is the always
Being on alert
Always already
Preparing in my head
What to say
It is the ready response
The glib reply
The feigned indifference
The subtle sarcasm
I must employ
To mask
Quiet cringing and quivering anger
It is the times I forget and walk freely
Imagine myself ordinary
Entitled, anonymous
Full of my own thoughts
About my own life
My own self my own rights
But am slammed
into
The borders of their
Belittling Incomprehension
Oops: I am
(foolishly perhaps)
Stunned shocked
Shamed
All over again
It is this
the everyday
Considerations
The getting up out of bed
The picking out of clothes
The doing of hair
The polish on my shoes
The proving paperwork
The current state of my car
All the things which could reflect
Not just on me
But a whole people
All the opportunities
All the excuses they could provide
All the justifications they could become
For my removal
It is this
and so much more…
